work out and cravings....

Well I didn't have to work until 3:30 today, so that gave me plenty of time to go work out this morning. I got there about 9, and it was really busy. I wasn't able to start on the elliptical machine like I normally do so I started my workout on the treadmill, then went to the bike. I have to say I'm pretty proud of myself for all the running I did on the treadmill. When I finally got to the elliptical machine, I almost died! Not literally, but I couldn't make it work! My legs were soo weak, they felt like jello! I was only able to do 10 minutes and then I quit. But I didn't quit completely, I stopped the elliptical machine, and then walked for about 15 minutes around the track. I've been trying to be really good with my diet also, but I get so weak when I do not eat much. Today I felt really sick when I got off work. I fixed some "real" food, with hopes that I'd feel better but that doesn't seem to be working yet. I did weigh myself today, and I've lost about 6 or 7 pounds.. Not too bad considering its only been 3 full weeks and there were all the holidays..only 33 more to go. I hope to get there early in the morning and be able to use the elliptical first, that way I can actually do my full workout.

I am having some cravings for food I haven't ate in awhile.... ice cream, Chinese, and pizza.. I hope I am able to fight the cravings...but man I could totally go for a Resse Cup blizzard, General Tso's chicken or a meat lovers pizza.....

It's a new year, but I have not changed..

It's a new year....

I have decided not to make any New Year resolutions this year. I never focus on them so what is the point?! My past resolutions have been all the same, loose weight, become more organized, spend more time with friends..blah blah blah... I have decided to loose weight, however it wasn't a thing for the New Year; I didn't join the gym on January 1st, instead I joined on December 14th. I have been really trying to make it to the gym but the holidays have kind of made it difficult. But now, there is no more excuses. I mean I even went today, after been struck with a hint of the stomach flu this morning. I did however cut the workout about 10 minutes short today, I did 30 minutes on the elliptical, 20 minutes on the bike, and 30 minutes on the treadmill. The past few times I've gone, I've been working out for 1 hour and 30 minutes. I want to keep that up, it was just today I wasn't feeling so hot. I should be able to work out every day this week, my work schedule is minimal and school doesn't start until next week.


...but I have not changed.

I was hoping I'd be able to spill out my thoughts in this blog, but that has not been possible for me to do. I always have so much going through my mind, especially today. I wish I was able to put it out there for everyone to read, but that is not easy for me to do. I can't just open up and let everyone know what is in my head. It seems as though every time I do let someone inside my head, I make a fool of myself and it is usually a bad outcome. I like to say things without actually saying them....

As of right now, the basic way to describe my thoughts is to say I loathe uncertainty and the fact that it exists in every aspect of my life. Call me a control freak but I like to know, everything. When uncertainty exists, my mind wanders. I go through the million (or two or three) possible outcomes. It wears me out, but I can not help it. I would not mind to wake up tomorrow and know ever single detail of the rest of my life. I know it would take the surprise and anticipation out of it, but I do not care. At least I would know, without any uncertainty, what was going to happen.

Christmas Eve!!

First of all, Merry Christmas everybody! I hope everyone gets to spend time with their families and the people that mean the most to them.

I have a slightly busy day today...but I am taking a minute to blog. I was up at 6 am this morning...why you ask..good ol' Ripley Roo wanted to go outside.. So after taking him out, I came back inside and played around online a little bit, then decided I wasn't going to be able to go back to sleep, so I might as well get up and go work out. Today I did 30 minutes on the eliptical machine, 20 minutes on the recumbent bike, and 30 minutes on the treadmill. I wanted to do just a little extra to make up for the fact that I didn't make it to the gym tomorrow, nor will I be going tomorrow...and to make up for all the yummy food I will be eating over the next 2 days. I tried to run on the treadmill...tried being the key word...it was awful, the most embarrassing thing ever! I was dying. I only wanted to run 1/2 a mile, but instead it ended up being 2/10 of a mile...so after that debacle I decided to walk..but speed walk ya know. So I have set a new goal.... I want to be able to "easily" run an 11 minute mile by my birthday..We'll see how it goes. I know that isn't super fast or anything, but for me that would be an accomplishment.

Here are the rest of my plans for today.... go to the post office, do laundry, clean house, wrap 2 Christmas presents, take a nap, another shower, and get ready for Christmas Eve at Aunt BJ's house.... This doesn't seem like a lot..but since my washer is broken, I must take my laundry to the other house to do it...boo..Oh well at least we have a nice new t.v. there and they finally got cable!

Weekend...

I have had a really good weekend so far! Friday I worked all day then went out for dinner and drinks with Kristy and Kyla, some friends of mine who I used to work with. Saturday morning I worked, then came home and cleaned house, took a long nap, then went out with Jordan who is a coworker of mine at the bank. I got about 4 hours of sleep this morning, then went to town with my mom. We finished up her Christmas shopping. I think I'm finally starting to get into the Christmas spirit. When we got home, another coworker of mine, Allison, called and asked if I wanted to go see a movie. Her sister went and saw Twilight, and said it was one of the best movies she had ever seen, so that is what we're going to watch. I'll let ya know what I think of it later. I really wanted to work out today, but since the movie started at 3, I debated on going. The gym is only open 1-5 on Sundays, and I was afraid I would be cutting it close on time if I went at 1..but I did it anyways. I only did 1/2 hour on the elliptical machine, but I'm just glad I went. I burnt 375 calories..Anyway, I just got out of the shower, so now I need to fix my hair and head to town! I hope traffic isn't bad, but I know it will be!

I'm starting to get addicted..

So before starting my blog, I was an avid reader of a couple of blogs... However, the time I spent reading their blogs is now spent writing my own. I'm not much of a commenter, so sorry if I don't comment...but I am going to ask if you are reading this comment and let me know! I know Rachel is reading it, and I read your blog too Rachel, but who knows if anyone else is.

Well I did go work out this morning. I was planning to go to the Zumba class, but I was the only one there for it, and they need 3 people....so instead I did my normal machines..I added in a new one, but only lasted for 10 minutes...it was so boring and I felt like I was wasting my time. I ended up with 1 hr 10 minutes of cardio today.. The gym has a "media center".. I think that is what they call it. There are 4 tvs tuned to ESPN, HGTV, CNN, and CBS and the machines have a little contraption on them that allows you to put in headphones and choose which t.v. you want to hear. Today was the first day I used it, usually I just listen to my iPod. I will have to say that watching HGTV certainly passed the time quicker than my iPod... I won't be able to go tomorrow or Saturday this week. I think I need a break though.. so I will not get all worked up about not going. Instead I'll do some sit ups and push ups with my exercise ball at home. I'm sorry if you get bored reading about this...Next time just skip to the 2nd paragraph!

Here are some other mindless things...
1. I can't wait to graduate.. I need to get the heck out of here!
2. My dog is driving my insane...but I still love him dearly.
3. It is unbelievable to me, but I am soo not in the Christmas spirit.. I feel like a scrooge. Maybe the Christmas party at work tomorrow will help.
4. It has been like a month since I cried, and today I had a breakdown... It had definetly built up.
5. I absolutely hate when I am trying to explain something to someone and they cut me off insisting I am wrong!
6. I dealt with a paranoid schizoprenic yesterday, and it was probably the highlight of my week. I could have argued with that guy all day, but that is so unprofessional.
7. I am so glad tomorrow is Friday!!!

Wednesday

Well its only 7:07 am and I've already got my work-out in. I went early this morning because I was supposed to have a dentist appointment at 8:30 and then work at 10. Well that canceled my dentist appointment because the roads are nothing but ice. I'm not upset or anything about that, it just sucks because I would have slept a couple more hours before working out..oh well I feel great about going this morning. I was afraid it would be hard to do it but it wasn't that bad. I've been doing pretty good with my diet too. Except for yesterday, I splurged and ate at TGI Fridays around 2. My mom and I split an appetizer and our entree so I think that makes it not so bad.. Either way, I feel like I'm doing pretty good other than that.

FYI

So my computer is working! Yay! I also won $100, which kind of makes up for spending nearly $100 on the new charger! These two good things happened after I 1.) Hit my elbow on the car after I almost fell on the ice while attempting to get out of my car, and 2.) the crack on my windshield (from a rock a few months ago) spidered into a huge C looking thing across my window.

I was totally just thinking about going to bed, then realized I was missing the finale of Biggest Loser! Jezze what was I thinking!?!?! Well I'm off to watch that and then to bed. I'll be up at 5 am to go work out tomorrow.. I have to go early because I have a dentist appointment at 8:30 and work at 10..Busy busy day!